New Music

So I've found a song I like, and I can sing, and I feel motivated to sing it, but I don't know. It's been a heck of a long time since I guitared for people.

Missy Higgins Forgive me: http://youtu.be/82ctJPv_kGU

Glory and Gore

Sometimes I wish I had more guts. I see people saying or doing something that I'm pretty damn sure is going to go badly for them, but I respect their "free will"or some shit.

Right now I'm tempted to say fuck that.

I want to get upset and tell people my opinion, because I know these people actually value my opinion and it will affect them, but I'm really damn scared they'll leave me because of it. It's irrational and stupid, but it's a big thing to me.

But if I stay quiet they could get really messed up.

Fuck.

Session #4

Today actually felt really nice. I hurt and it burns, but I don't ache and I'm not queasy anymore. I was going to do 40 push-ups, but I still had some juice left over so I did another 10. Final tally is as follows:

•  50 push-ups
• 20 standard
• 10 wide
• 10 close
• 25 sit-ups
• 20 leg lifts

Also, I've really noticed my left elbow is giving me serious trouble. While the aches in the rest of my joints have abated, it feels like the muscle below my triceps that attaches to the top/back of the elbow joint is inflamed. I'm thinking that I'm pushing it too hard, so I'm either going to have to slow the whole thing down or work on one handed push-ups with my right until I lose some of this weight. Ideas, Schrodingers?

Session #3

I had to cut my push-up sets from 10 to 8, because I'm still super weak from yesterday. Once I can do 8 with minimal difficulty, I'll jump up to 10

• Yoga, as always. (Maybe I should post an explanation of the forms I go through?)
•  40 push-ups in total
• 24 standard push-ups
• 8 close push-ups
• 8 wide push-ups
• 20 sit-ups
• 15 leg lifts

Again, ow ow ow.

Session #2

Exercised kind of late tonight. Good Lord I hurt.

• Yoga to start
• 50 push-ups and 20 sit-ups
• 10 standard push-ups
• 5 sit-ups
• 10 wide push-ups
• 5 sit-ups
• 10 standard push-ups
• 5 sit-ups
• 10 close push-ups
• 5 sit-ups
• 10 standard push-ups
• 15 leg lifts
• Assorted stretching to try and make the pain stop

My stomach really hurts. My arms not so much, but there is this pervading sense of weakness setting in that I know is going to kill me at work tomorrow. I almost couldn't come all the way up on that last push up. Head, swimming; stomach, nauseous. So all in all I'd say I done well. I'm thinking I might cut the push up sets down to 7 or 8, because there's no point in doing this if I can only do it once every three days.

Projecting

This will be a short post from mobile.

What we have done and had done to us and our reactions to what has been done to us define us. So it only makes a sick sort of sense that whenever a situation is presented to us, we imagine how we would handle that situation.

Even the most empathic people can never truly fully understand where someone else is coming from, so our decisions are clouded by our own personalities and decisions.

That being said, I am NOT you, you arrogant Asshole. Just because you would take advantage of this situation and hurt everyone who tried to help you does NOT mean I will. Some nights it might seem like a great thing to do, collateral damage and long-term planning be damned, but I won't do it. I will be a decent human being and prove the people who love me right when they put their trust in me.

The very reason I'm being afforded this opportunity is because I'm not you. I will in fact do things the right and proper way and work my ASS off making things work, you little shit.

Because sometimes people are worth the effort, even if things don't go how you'd like, and the act of striving to better yourself in the pursuit of something glorious actually makes a difference.

Devil's Advocate

I can sometimes be a bit of a Debbie Downer. My friends know this, and have accepted it. Something they have not come to accept, and may not even know that I do, is play the Devil's Advocate. Murphy will suggest something awesome to Khaleesi, and they'll both start kind of planning it or thinking of fun things to do together, but after about 10 or 15 minutes I'll lean in and say "but what about this? Or that or the other thing?"

I'm not doing this to kill the fun.

I'm doing this to make it POSSIBLE.

Or another example. (OOH I HAD AN IDEA! Meet Timmy.)

*Ahem* Our random NPC (Non-Player Character) Timmy is having a disagreement with somebody, and Timmy totally believe that he's correct. Now I'll let him get about 3/4 way through his argument and say "But what if this just happened to them? Or there's something you don't know that makes them act like this? What if you accidentally said something horrible and they're right to be upset?" Needless to say, it doesnt go well for me after that.

BUT.

If I hadn't said anything at all and agreed with Timmy, then he goes to confront this person and BAM they had a perfectly valid reason for being upset, even if they couldn't articulate it at the time?

The bottom line is that I pressure my friends because if they can't take it from me, someone who loves them dearly, then how well are they going to handle it when they have to go fight the real monsters about important things? I'm like the tutorial to every RPG or video game in existence. You HATE that tutorial, so damn much, but it got you set up for the rest of the game. I'm the practice encouter with half the Hit Points and damage of the actualy boss, but I let you get a feel for what it's like.

So I let them get mad at me. I let them get indignant and lay into me for 20 more minutes about how they're right, and here's a reason, and here's a fact, dammit, and by the end they have a bunch of arguments already thought through before they have to go off for reals. So my job is done.

Codenames

A few of my friends have blogs or public records where they record personal details. They of course don't use real names, as I have highly intelligent friends. This leads to the conundrum of what the heck they call people. One of them uses the first letter of their first name, another one uses names that makes sense to them as they come up in conversation. I prefer to use names of characters from fictional universes that will make perfect sense if you know the person and the universe, but leaves you bewildered otherwise.

I'm not very good at introductions (or conclusions, as you may have noticed) so I'm going to try and get this out of the way with as many I can think of off the top of my head. This post may be edited as I think up more, or I might just make a new post once I get a nice-sized batch of new characters. So here they are, in no particular order:

• Khaleesi - My friend who is amazingly artsy and craftsy and sweet and wonderful and puts up with me for God knows how the past 2 years. Even if she doesn't get to go out much because she's a spoonie, she has hordes of people willing to do anything for her.
• Murphy - My best friend of over 4 years now, she's small and dangerous and amazing. I have even less of an idea as to why she's put up with me longer than Khaleesi. After meeting at a band event, we started talking and ended up as Drum Majors (for separate bands unfortunately.) Last summer she moved to the East Coast, but we've kept in contact with Skype and both agree we're equally insane for continuing to be around one another.
• Bro - This is a friend I met through Murphy, and though we've had some rough patches, we end up sticking together. He moved away to the West Coast and we lost contact for a while, but he's in town until the end of April.
• Qui-Gon - Khaleesi's husband. The most rock solid man I know. He's a nerd like me, likes the same things as me, but is just more there. He's gone through some hellfire and back for the people in his life, and he has my infinite respect. Even if he's an ass 90% of the time.
• Princess - One of my friends from band also. We reconnected last year and have been hanging out a lot. She's interesting, but we haven't spoken for a while now.
• Kiki - I met Kiki in the theatre program at my college. She's kinda dorky, but in a good way. After an extended silence we've been trading txts over the last week or two.
• Chricton - Qui-Gon's brother. He's like him, but more so. More off the wall, more out there, but still one of the steadiest people I know.
• Gypsy - She's a little flighty, but if you're in need she'll show up. Usually in some form of denim and a long skirt, but she'll fight tooth and nail for you. Also met at the theatre program.

 Those are all I can think of for now. I'm not sure if editing a post moves it back to the top of your blog, but this is certainly going to get updated. If anything major changes where I have to change everybody's little bio, I'll make another post.

Goodnight, Schrodingers. Stay away from boxes.

And scientists.

Mostly scientists.

New Idea

I'm sure you Schrodingers have noticed I haven't posted again. Oooops. I'm assuming you survived. Though maybe you haven't. Hmm. . .

Maybe that name wasn't the best pick for y'all.

Anywho, I've started exercising. Which, if you know me, is kind of weird. I'm actually of medium to slight build (thank God) but I've become uncomfortable with how I look and how plain weak I am. In order to keep this active AND keep me accountable, I'm going to start recording my exercises on here. If you don't want those posts, then skip them, as they will be clearly labeled.

Except for this one. MUAHAHA I got you!

Quick intro on the exercises. When I say "sit-up" I actually mean more of a deformed crunch, because that's all I can manage for now. But one of these is actually one leaning across to the left, one across to the right, and one straight forward. so a "set of 5" is actually 15 weird sit-up/crunch things. Wide/close/normal with push-ups refer to the spacing of my hands. Well, I think thats quite enough for now.

• My standard yoga opening.
• 3 sets of 10 push-ups each, one of standard/close/wide
• 4 sets of 5 sit-ups
• 10 leg lifts
• a half mile at 5mph

I know it's not much, but considering I went from doing absolutely nothing except a job that has me standing for 8 hours a day to doing all that in one go, I feel pretty accomplished. Granted, imma be hurting tomorrow, but I know it won't be insurmountable. I hopefully can get to 60 push-ups and 20 sit-ups as my standard, and move up from there. Next Monday, I think, I should be able to pull that off, even if it'll be difficult.

Rather than packing all of my events into one massive post every week or so, I think im going to split up the topics so even if I asdflkasjdgkjh all in one day, it's already split up into topics and chunks for you people.

(Note to self: Work on how to close out a post.)

Lazy Post #1

I actually had some really good Blog Nuggets appear in my head today, but consider that today has been really long and not very pleasant, I'm going to save them for later, my Schrodingers. Take care.

Keeping Momentum

If you're expecting this to be an awesome post about physics, or to just keep moving forward in life, or an in depth study of how a baseball accelerated to 90% of light speed would create an explosion via nuclear fusion, you will be sorely disappointed. (The blog post about the baseball is actually here.)

The purpose of this post is to keep me posting. If I go more than a few days without being on here,

1. My insanity will develop further and
2. The people I know who now keep tabs on me via this blog (damn youuuu!) might get a bit concerned.

On the note of the people who are reading this, seriously, damn you. It doesn't change a thing, and this blog is still for me to shout into the depths of the interblag. (Relevant) If that upsets you or makes you uncomfortable, then buck up, buttercup.

I actually have the core kernels for several posts percolating in my head, and they'll either slither out over the course of the next few weeks, or they'll get herguhmerguhblerghed up here late one night. Upcoming topics may be:

• Relationships (Platonic, romantic, and every other variation thereof)
• Relationship with one's self (the most vital of relationships)
• People (Who are really REALLY dumb)
• People (Who I can mostly handle being around) 
• Literature (Both contemporary and classic)
• Nerdiness (Really? You don't need a sub-note for this)
• Quotes ( I reeeally appreciate a good quote)

OR

I could say screw that and write whatever I damn well please because this is my blog, thank you very much. Two notes to close out, though. 1) If/when I DO change the address for this blog, I will post about it at least a week in advance and change it at a specific time so y'all people who may or may not be there (Note #1) can update your bookmarks. 2) There will be some profanity in this blog, and while I don't foresee anything gratuitously graphic going on here, there might come a situation that would call for it. Again, if that makes you uncomfortable, I knew quite a few wonderful blogs I can direct you to.

Note #1) That phrase I use sparked a thought process in my head. I believe I shall call my readers Schrodingers due to the fact that they may or may not be there. I understand that's a gross misunderstanding of the cat in the box thing, but you know what, it works for me.

Spontaneous Note #2) Any people I mention from my life will have a codename or an abbreviation that will make perfect sense to me, so it works. I state this because if you see people referred to as certain superheroes or literary characters, it doesn't mean I've (finally) gone off the deep end. It means that name is easy for me to remember and a trigger to that person in my mind.

Well, I think I've rambled at you enough for tonight, and i actually got some semi-important statements out of the way.

Getting Started

Well then. Somehow you've managed to find this, and I apologize in advance. This is my first experience blogging. Hell, it's my first experience trying to convert thoughts onto the proverbial paper in any sort of coherent fashion.

On that note, this blog is not for you.

Don't get me wrong, I'll be more than happy if somebody out there gets some sort of satisfaction out of reading this, but that's not my goal. My goal is to try and keep some semblance of sanity even in my life, even if it's just by shouting out my frustrations on the blagosphere.

On a lighter note, if you ARE going to be stuck with me, you might as well get some Cliff's Notes on me.

• I am very nerdy, and may often make references you do not understand. I may deign to direct you to the source so you can become a better nerd.
• I will sound brusque and rude. You will get used to it, or you will leave, and there's not a damn thing I can do about that.
• I am also horrible at keeping a coherent thought trail, so off we go to another topic.

The address this blog is starting with will probably not be its final address, so if your links get broken just search for Kyrimorut. Oh yes! Both the address and the name reference the Mandalorian culture from the Star Wars novels. I'll get more into that later.

The reason this blog post is so spaz-tastic is because I was finally struck with the urge to register and set this blog up, which I've been meaning to do for a few months now. If I didn't do it NOW it probably wouldn't get done.

I'm going to take off for now. Im not sure if the next post will be an hour or a month, but it'll be coming. Blogging only gets better with practice!

Kandosii, ner vod.